New Park Pizza

New Park Pizza
156-71 Crossbay Blvd.
Howard Beach, NY 11414
718-641-3082
Hours: 10 a.m. to 12 a.m. - 7 days a week

I grew up in Queens. When asked about it, I often use Aqueduct Racetrack as a landmark, which is true, for its dilapidated overhangs were clearly visible from our house as well as the dilapidated gamblers who passed the front of the house on the way to the bus. I have some vivid food memories from my times in Queens. Ho Wan Restaurant under the el on Liberty Avenue served the best version of fried rice - a version that would be the "meter stick" for all others because of its deep, brown color. It was actually "fried' and not Goya yellow rice. Another restaurant further west on Liberty Avenue served a baked ravioli, with golden brown mozzarella covering each luxurious pillow of ravioli (the name eludes me - I know it was "something 's" and was more like a bar). Smile of the Beyond, a vegetarian restaurant on Parsons Boulevard, served some of the best "fake" American classics and some the best juices (try the carrot), all served by followers of Sri Chinmoy. Add to this list New Park Pizza, whose intricate flavors were puzzling to my young palate at the time. However, as I visited as an adult, I realized the genius here.

Living in the midst of the South Shore of Nassau County, pizzerias and Italian restaurants exist every other storefront. Ironically, all of the food blows! Since there is such a large population of Italian people on the South Shore of the Island, it is funny to me that: a) they go "out" for Italian food often and b) they think it's good. You can take your $13.95 bowl of Penne ala Vodka and blow it out your ditty-bag (Thanks Grandpa!)! I have grown up with too many fabulous cooks in my family to pay for generic Italian-American fare. But I digress from the pizza...Jess and I moved out here two years ago and the only place we liked closed down (La Bella Pizza). I had some friends over during a Ranger game who were hungry and I called them...No answer for an hour...The next day I passed by to see an eviction notice from the County Sheriff. But my brief love affair with their Sicilian pie led me to an epiphany - most places have a generic sauce that they use for pasta and pizza.

Digging through old photos for our wedding led me to a photo of myself and my little league team (circa 1990) enjoying slices after a "World Series" win for Team Sapienza Meats! Back then, I enjoyed the pizza as much as a Big Mac after a good report card. My family and I moved out to Long Island for a few years before I had my license and I lost touch with the pizzeria. However, for a brief few college years with my buddies Murm and Phil, we ventured every year into Howard Beach on December 23rd, listening to the Deftones' "White Pony," At The Drive In's song, "One Armed Scissor," and various Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, Tripface, Indecision, Murphy's Law, and Rorschach songs, and other metal/hardcore hits in a 1986 Buick Century, a 1988 Buick Regal, or a 1990 Ford Taurus (see picture to the right for a glimpse of two of these beautiful cars after they were "decommissioned"). We were the three stallions - some others joined us - sometimes only two of us - but the spirit remained. We were on a quest for last-minute Christmas gifts or at least to buy a new hockey stick at Sports Depot. Menthol cigarettes were abound as well as tins of Skoal Cherry - we were the Tobacco Generation. Plus, it was balm for the massive hangovers that we all had since we were off after finals. A smoky windshield dimmed a crisp winter sky (we used to wake up at 3 p.m. during winter break). A trip to the stores on Crossbay Boulevard were prefaced by a stop at New Park Pizza. It was a right of passage for those who had never had it (Murm and I grew up in Queens).

New Pizza Pizza is a small brick building on the corner with a "patio" of sorts for more seating. But do not be afraid of the appearance - the flavors here are incredible. The neon pie above is like the North star for weary pizza travelers. There is no lack of "specialty slices" on Long Island. New Park focuses on the classics. No Buffalo Chicken slices...no ziti slices...no Chicken Francaise slice. Go ahead and order one of these. We always joked that you will get a regular slice and a regular Coke anyway. New Park has the classic toppings for slices (pepperoni, mushroom, peppers, a white slice, etc.) and some other classic pizzeria fare (never had a menu so I am not sure what else is offered - I know I have had a calzone in the past) but most people opt for the original, either Neopolitan or Sicilian. Order two regular slices and do not even bother with the garlic powder and hot pepper flakes. Sit on an ancient wooden bench and examine your slices. Rugged pieces of mozzarella (not Polly-O) are layered on a bed of rose-colored sauce and seemingly charred crust. Take the first bite and get pissed off at yourself for living a life filled with mediocre slices that attempted to hide the mundane with autographed pictures of Frank Sinatra and James Gandolfini. Sweet and salty cheese is married with a succulent sauce that is made specifically for pizza. Yes, damn it! There is a such thing as a "pizza sauce" versus a "marinara sauce." Its not a "one size fits all" kind of thing. Its complexity lies in its simplicity. A charred crust beckons a sense of being overcooked but a smoky flavor intermingles with a crust that is crispy and chewy. Its an experience to be had by all.

And screw all the haters. I have read many reviews by Brooklyn and NYC "foodies" who tout these "$5 a slice" places as being superior, bad-mouthing New Park and that's terrific. And guess what? A) I do not want to spend the gas money nor food money to pay $5 for a slice of pizza B) I hate elitists who, unless they have eaten every damn pizza here and in Italy, pass intense judgment about places with such "gusto." Take your $5 slice, your "Ohh, its $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon Night - Let's Slum It!," and your "Let's follow the Twitter food trucks" and shove it. There are some people who do not have the opportunity to, do not have the money to, or couldn't give a *&^% about fad places. I apologize for the soapbox rhetoric but it angers me that people consider themselves the authority on food and beer based solely upon the trendy places they read about in the dining section of the New York Times. I try to give an honest review from the perspective of the "common man" (or woman), highlighting positives and negatives, giving you, the reader, my honest opinion. My honest opinion here is that this is one of the best pizzerias that I have had the pleasure of enjoying a slice from. There may be better slices somewhere but I have not found them yet and do not think that I will.

New Park has been here for over 50 years. There is beauty in nostalgia, greatness is nostalgia, better-than-your-pizzeria nostalgia. I have eaten a lot of pizza in my day. I have even threatened a pizzeria tour with my friend Murm one summer, with the idea of hitting a different pizzeria each day. I can honestly say that I have not yet had pizza that is better than the one at New Park. It is worth the drive here. And if you live in Queens or Nassau County and you have not been here, it should be a rite of passage. I have heard many stories from my friends who have made the trip hear after hearing about the greatness. Jess and I recently made the pilgrimage here, calling from the Belt Parkway (call right when you hit the part where the highway to head to JFK passes overhead), for two pies "well-done" (you'll get that charred crust). We picked them up and returned to Long Island to watch the Ranger game with my parents. They had not had New Park since we had moved to Long Island in 1994. I cannot put to words their expressions after their first bites into the slices. It is more than a slice - its an experience.
Notes:

- It was $32 dollars for two regular pies - a steal for this type of quality. The slices are quite filling as well.
- New Park can get quite crowded at all times of the day, a testament to its popularity. The service is extremely quick though. I have heard that many people order a pie right at the counter and will receive it not much later.
- Do yourself a favor this holiday season - stop at New Park, have a few slices, and then cruise around the beautiful neighborhood of Howard Beach checking out the fantastic Christmas light displays. Talk about frugal...It does not take more than a few dollars in gas for a most excellent night. It has been a become a tradition of ours (with the addition of a cup of coffee).
- Follow New Park on Facebook as well as a website that is currently under construction.
- I know it's not technically in Long Island but I wish it was. It is not far from the Nassau/Queens border.
- All pictures seen here taken by Jess (except the cars - that's in my archive!)

Oktoberfest at Plattduetsche Park Restaurant

Oktoberfest at Plattduetsche Park Restaurant
1132 Hempstead Turnpike
Franklin Square, NY 11010
516-354-3131
10/15/2010
$45 - Unlimited German buffet, beer, wine, and soda

Oktoberfest, whether you spell it with a "c" or a "k", usually brings to mind liter mugs filled with a copper beer, piles of sausages, and waitresses who define the meaning of cleavage. However, there is a rich history behind the affair. According to BeerAdvocate.com, "This festive celebration was established in October of 1810 by Prince Ludwig of Bavaria (crowned as King Ludwig I) in celebration of his marriage to Princess Therese of Saxony-Hildburghausen." BeerAdvocate also notes that the odd thing about the celebration is all people from all walks of life were invited to attend, a social taboo to this point, where peasants would be in the company of royalty. Ironically, the original celebration was based upon horse racing and an agricultural show and not until 1818 did the beer and food vendors arrive. (BeerAdvocate)

Even more ironically, the Plattduetsche Park Oktoberfest actually brings together people from all walks of life. Jess and I attended this celebration last year for the first time with another couple. It is held indoors in a huge banquet hall, not unlike a classic wedding setting. The odd thing is that if you do not have enough people in your reservation to fill a large, circular table, you will find yourself sitting with people that you do not know. It was admittedly awkward at first but as the beer began to flow, little did it seem to matter. This year, we were seated with an older couple. We exchanged pleasantries and never spoke again. And that is fine with me. Last year, we sat with two couples that were similar in age. Everything was fine until they started ordering beer for the whole table opting for "whatever they had" instead of the fine imported beer that could also be attained. I will speak about this more as things have changed in a year.

Yes, it is much like a wedding. Loud music, lots of food and drink, awkward company, and lots of time spent chatting. However, the music is provided by The Continentals, who roar through sets of classic German songs, bad jokes, and plenty of chant-response ditties enjoyed mostly by those who are drinking heavily. Dancing is done by the Original Enzian Dancers (do not be fooled by imitators!) who provide plenty of knee and ankle slapping and circle-skirt twirling, demonstrating old-style German dance. It is enjoyable and if you have enough beers, it is pretty fun to watch.

The food is the highlight of the night. I would imagine that the critical question behind the unlimited food is, "How much German food could one possibly eat in one night?" A peek at the non-vegetarian menu would lead one to schedule a session with the cardiologist. Here is list of what I had the pleasure of enjoying:

1) Sauerbraten - Slightly thick fork-tender medallions of bottom-round (top-round? rump?) in a sweet brown gravy.
2) Loin of Pork - Tender and in a slightly-spicy sauce.
3) Leberkase - German meatloaf (minced pork and beef) with the consistency of a thick cut of bologna. It is horrifying to most people, has a uncanny resemblance to Spam, but has a wonderful, meaty flavor. Slap it on a roll with sauerkraut and mustard. Bring it to work and jam it in someone's face!
4) Wursts - An assortment of bratwurst (pork and beef), knockwurst (smoked beef with garlic), weisswurst aka bockwurst (pork, veal, and milk!), and peanut franks (mini hot dogs). All were excellent.
5) Mashed Potatoes - Heavenly, loaded with butter, bacon, and cream, and topped with fried onions
6) Potato Dumplings - Gelatinous white orbs that might have been the densest things I have ever eaten. A decent flavor but the consistency took some getting used too.
7) German potato salad - Al-dente potatoes with a nice vinegar kick and salty, smoky bacon.
8) German cabbage salad - A focus here on crisp cabbage with vinegar and a nice note with the addition of fennel seeds.
Other items included sauerkraut, red cabbage, a garden salad, split-pea and ham soup, and a slice of apple strudel as dessert. All of the food is excellent here and well cooked despite the buffet style.

They offered two types of beer. Warsteiner Original was the pale beer offered, a hoppy pilsener that went nicely with the food. They also offered a mystery Oktoberfest. I deduced that it could not be by Warsteiner because it had too much of a rich copper color (Warsteiner Oktoberfest does not vary much from the original). From the taste, color, and "wallop," I believe that it was Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest. Last year, I was able to taste many of the great beers offered on tap at the bar but this was no longer an option. I had my fill of the Oktoberfest, so I did not leave unsatisfied.

It is funny that I should mention "last year." Last year, the Oktoberfest celebration was much livelier, much more crowded, and we even noticed that the lights were dimmer. There also seemed to be many more younger people at the celebration last year. I have to think that the moving of the date of the Beer Tasting Festival to the weekend before the Oktoberfest (last year the tasting was in May) left people with empty wallets, massive headaches, and little desire to do it all again in less than a week, now with the addition of unlimited food. Even I had to select between one of the two events. Obviously, I was in the minority by choosing this.

I believe that this event is worth attending at least once, regardless of age. There is enough German culture here to make it semi-educational and enough beer and food to make $45 seem like a steal. However, upon my return for a second time, a lot of the "wonder" and "excitement" was lost. I still got full value for the money but I think I would rather have had a nice, sit down dinner in the restaurant, which I have heard is very good.

Notes:

- Visit the The Plattduetsche Park website. Here they have a calendar of events, menus, beer pairing dinners, festivals, etc. There is a lot going on here most weeks. Join the beer club! Think you can hold a full liter of beer for a while? Enter the Masskrugstemmen! Visit the beer garden!

Phatso's

Phatso's
3601 Merrick Road
Seaford, New York 11783
Hours:
Monday to Thursday 11am -12am
Friday-Saturday 11-1am
Sunday 12pm-11pm
Phone: 516-809-7878

The advent of Food Network, shows such as "Man Vs. Food," and the rise in popularity of competitive eating has caused a boom in large portions that care little about caloric intake or health. And to quote Mel Torme, "I think that's the tops!" I am a big guy and I enjoy eating and not just portion size - as my friend Broccoli Rob would say, "It has to be Flavor-Blasted." And to be perfectly honest, with experience as an amateur home chef, food needs fat to taste good. Ironically, I am trying to lose some weight so I can easily see the juxtaposition. Sure, I like making Mexican chicken tacos, with plenty of cilantro, chili powder, lime, and cumin but I realize its restrictions. Let's take some fried fish or chorizo, add some chipotle mayo-laced cabbage, globs of sour cream, and some bacon and we are on our way to a "most excellent" taco.

I have read about the bahn-mi (a Vietnamese sandwich filled with pate, Vietnamese bologna, ground pork, cilantro, pickled diakon, sliced hot peppers, and mayo all on a French baguette - there are a ton of variations though) craze in the city, where people use Twitter to chart the courses of mobile trucks to find these great sandwiches. Although I have yet to find one on the Island, I appreciate the amount of hype a sandwich is getting and one that is different. Sure, we all love our "Godfather" heroes but Long Island is saturated with generic pork store specialties to suit most tastes, leaving sandwich aficionados with little hope. And of course here our focus is on affordability. I am sure there are high-end places that serve Serrano ham sandwiches at $20 a pop in West Hampton. The sandwich is a lost art, one that deserves more than meat and cheese or some paltry meatballs. It has become mundane and only the greats look to revive it. But to all of those looking for quantity and quality and a low price, Phatso's should be a destination. I had heard rumors of a sandwich place taking over a spot where numerous pizza places dishing out Elios specialties had failed. A few months ago, Phatso's opened, their Facebook page proclaiming their massive specialties. I have had the pleasure of heading to Phatso's twice since it has opened and have been truly satisfied. The menu does contain highly-heralded cheesesteaks, hot dogs (can get bacon and cheese on it!), classic hot Italian heroes, some Mexican staples, and burgers. However, the main attraction are the monster heroes, all served on fresh, crusty Italian bread.

On my first visit, a cloudy afternoon hankering for something different yet viciously filling led me here. I decided to go for the gusto and ordered specialty hero #1 which consists of chicken fingers, steak, bacon cheese fries, and fried mozzarella balls all jammed into a hero. Each sandwich is made to order so it takes some time so if you are in a rush, it is worth calling ahead. However, I felt no need to rush, especially in waiting for this. I took the sandwich home and felt guilty eating it - there were too many great things on one sandwich. I took a bite and reveled in the flavors. Some were more prominent than others but each bite offered various palatal pleasures. The steak was well-cooked and slightly crusty like on a good steak. The cheese from the fries weaved between layers of fried mozzarella and crispy chicken. And the bacon added a salty kick and even more crispiness. Now, one has to realize that you are eating a bevy of fried items so there is bound to be some oil. However, Phatso's does a great job at limiting this. Its tremendously filling as even a big dude like myself had trouble finishing the whole thing. And don't forget, that this is the sandwich with everything on it. There are other options.

On the second visit, a return from a beer soaked bachelor party weekend absolutely called for such food. I headed to the shop with my brother, heralding that such a place would do wonders for recovery. I decided to go a bit "milder" with the #6 which is chicken fingers, bacon, provolone cheese and fries with ranch dressing on a hero. Of course, it was excellent and I have to admit that the lack of "everything" from the #1 enabled me to get a better taste of each item in the sandwich. The provolone provided a sharp bite that mellowed the fingers and bacon. The ranch provided a nice creaminess and pulled the sandwich together. My brother ordered the #5, which is similar but has fried mozzarella and barbecue sauce instead of provolone and ranch. He enjoyed it very much. We also ordered a side of fried and onion rings (completely unnecessary since they were on the sandwiches) but the fries had that rustic, skin-on flavor and the onion rings had a nice, flaky crust, which dominated the standard breaded fare. Add a nice fountain Coke, and it was quite a meal.

Phatso's also offers some fried desserts such as fried Oreo's, Twinkies, and chocolate chip cookies. In both visits, I was unable to think about another bite of food but I have heard some great things about them. In addition, they have super-sized versions of the specialty heroes (from the pictures it looks like two heroes with a ton of fries) for $20. If you can eat it, you can name it. So if the name, "The Islanders Suck" comes to mind, you can name that sandwich that. Most of the food falls between the $5 to $10 range, so head here before pissing away money on mini-burgers from a $1 menu.

Phatso's is worth a visit - go for the gusto and get one of the monster sandwiches. There are not many places where you can find such fare. You will leave full, happy, and with the realization that eating way beyond when your brain tells you to stop is awesome! The sandwich is back!

Notes:

- You can visit the homepage here for a peek at the menu and location.
- There is also a Facebook and Twitter page.
- Keep an eye out for excellent coupons offered by Phatso's in local papers, Pennysavers, and magazines. They are quite the deal!
- On a side note: the second time I went, one of the owners (Dave I believe his name was) told me that one of his fryers had crapped out on him so the wait would be a bit (close to a half-hour). He also said he would do his best with what he had. Not only were the sandwiches, fries, and onion rings great, but he knocked a few dollars off the bill when we paid. Ironically, I would have been fine with paying full price because the food was great and I appreciated his honesty. This is the kind of thing that will keep me going there. Not only did Dave remember me from my first visit, but he appreciated my patronage and did what he could to keep me as a regular customer. Kudos!