IKEA

IKEA is for shopping. It is for buying hip things with foreign names. It is about thrown wrenches and hammers while putting things together. It is about crowded parking lots, college freshman, and shitty, useless shopping carts. But there is one reason that I will always accompany my wife or whoever else to this spare parts warehouse...the food court. And no, not the one upstairs that serves food in a cafeteria-like setting at reasonable prices. I am talking about the first floor, Nassau Coliseum-like food stand that can be easily accessed from outside, especially if you want to be a dick and park in the "Pick Up Only" section. I must admit that I have gone on many occasions to IKEA merely to eat; as much as I knew that I needed a bookcase made of cardboard and glitter, I knew that I had $3.00 in my wallet which equaled 6 hotdogs. Sure, to most, that seems like an obscene amount. But these are those small-time deals, the cheap bun-size wieners you would serve after your little league team receives their third-place trophies. Satisfying in the nostalgic sense - satisfying in the wallet sense. But I am here to discuss a newer item that I ran across recently - the Swedish Meatball sub. This three-bite (or four if you go a meatball at a time) is comprised of 4 of IKEA's silky Swedish meatballs stuffed into the surplus of .50 hot dog buns they have laying around. Silky is the best way to describe these meatballs; a super-soft texture, with a smooth, creamy mouth-feel with spices that probably include cardamom and coriander. This "sub" costs $1.00 and rivals destroys Subway's ridiculous six-inch "turkey" meatball sub, especially since you can get three of these for the same price. This lower-level fun zone also has $1.00 and below cinnamon buns, pizza slices, and soft serve cones. I respect IKEA for trying to instill that old school notion of spending an entire day shopping. It reminds me of my early days with my grandparents, spending a full day Christmas shopping at Green Acres Mall, dining at the food court as a means of making it through a full day of shopping. If you are anywhere near the Hicksville IKEA, its worth dropping in for the stadium-style food they offer.